BLOG TO RESUME SHORTLY

ONCE AGAIN …

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… MR. COPE HAS DECIDED TO TAKE A PERSONAL DAY, LEAVING THE STAFF HANGING OUT ON A LIMB WITH NOTHING TO POST HERE ON MR. COPE’S CAVE. HE CLAIMS IT IS A FATHER’S PREROGATIVE TO LOLL AROUND THE HOUSE ON FATHERS’ DAY, DOING NOTHING CONSTRUCTIVE AND EATING CANDY BARS. WE ASKED HIM WHY, IF HE HAD EXPECTED TO TAKE FATHERS’ DAY OFF, HE HADN’T COMPLETED TODAY’S BLOG AHEAD OF TIME. SATURDAY, PERHAPS. HE EXPLAINED THAT AS A FATHER, HE TOOK THE LIBERTY TO EXTEND THE PRIVILEGES AND INDULGENCES OF FATHERS’ DAY TO THE WHOLE WEEKEND. AND AFTER FURTHER QUESTIONING, HE ANNOUNCED THAT HE HAD BEGUN HIS “FATHERS’ DAY WEEKEND” EARLY FRIDAY EVENING, IN ORDER TO GET THERE BEFORE THE CROWD ARRIVED.

NO, IT MAKES NO SENSE TO US, EITHER. BUT IT IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF THING WE HAVE COME TO EXPECT FROM MR. COPE OF LATE. THERE IS A THEORY FLOATING ABOUT THE OFFICE THAT, AS DONALD TRUMP BEHAVES EVER-MORE IRRATIONALLY, SO DOES MR. COPE. IT IS AS IF THERE IS A WAVELENGTH OR VIBRATION OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT EMANATING FROM WHATEVER LEVEL OF TRUMP’S BRAIN THAT CONTROLS—OR NOT—HIS MINUTE-TO-MINUTE THOUGHT PROCESSES, AND THIS EERIE INFLUENCE IS MANIFESTING ITSELF IN BIZAAR BEHAVIOR FROM VULNERABLE AMERICAN PSYCHES FROM COAST TO COAST, ESPECIALLY AMONG PEOPLE WHO WERE NOT SO STABLE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I, PERSONALLY, PUT LITTLE STOCK IN THIS THEORY—THE NEW INTERN HAS TAKEN TO CALLING IT “THE RIPPLE MAGNIFICATION EFFECT OF COALESCING DERANGEMENTS”—BUT EVEN I HAVE TO ADMIT, IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT. THE SUPPORT OF EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS FOR TRUMP, FOR INSTANCE. OR CAITLYN JENNER.

BE THAT AS IT MAY, WE MUST HOPE MR. COPE IS DONE WITH HIS FATHERS’ DAY SABBATICAL IN TIME TO GET SOMETHING WRITTEN FOR WEDNESDAY’S POSTING. IN THE MEANTIME, WE WILL CONTINUE OUR PRACTICE OF OFFERING A MUSICAL INTERLUDE FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE—THE MANAGEMENT

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