Male Call

Thought you might enjoy seeing some of the correspondence I’ve received of late.

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They started coming shortly after I returned (in March) to The Boise Weekly for a monthly column. Below, exactly as they were written, are my favorites.

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Funny thing … I was pretty sure these three examples were from Trump supporters before I even read them. Something about the handwriting gave it away. Just from the general look of them, I guessed that they were either scrawled by loyal Trumpists, or that Miss McGillicuddy’s third-grade class had been given an assignment to write a letter on a current news subject.

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But silly me. After reading them, I realized most third graders would show more imagination and wouldn’t simply be puking up catch phrases they picked up on the Internet.

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I left off the names; figure these people don’t need any help from me to embarrass themselves. But they were all from men, as you would suppose by the tone of their dickishness. And you also might suspect they are all three operating under the impression they are very clever fellas. And who knows? … perhaps in their milieu—i.e., the world of deluded dopes still sticking up for Mr. Soon-To-Be-Living-The-Rest-Of-His-Miserable-Life-In-Disgrace, If-Not-Federal-Prison, they are the closest thing to “clever” as we’re apt to get.

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