As the hideous Eldritch Horror …
… more often than not found slithering about Southern Florida golf courses, goes looking for ever-more enemies to antagonize in ITs desperate efforts to divert attention away from the inquiries into how inextricably entangled ITs monstrous tentacles are with the murderous Slavic Underworld, we wonder if IT (or any of ITs grotesque spawn) has given any thought whatsoever to how immense a host of military expendables might be required to enter into unholy war on the Assyrian plains, the Korean peninsula, the Afghan frontier, the Persian homeworld, and the Yemenite sands of Araby, simultaneously.
Perhaps IT intends to open wide the dust-encrusted Gates of Conscription and unleash the savage fury of the Millennial Horde within. Oh, shudder! … oh, quake! … oh, tremble! Could any foe stand for long against the brutal and incessant hail of texting, snapchatting and tweeting that would surely descend upon the darkening world!?
History awaits the ultimate answer to just how much havoc must be wreaked … how many more will die … how far we will fall … for IT to avoid the brand: TRAITOR!
May the Ancient Gods have mercy on our land.