Temporarily Out of Giggles, Yuks and Guffaws

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FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE COME TO MR. COPE’S CAVE THIS MORNING IN HOPES OF RECEIVING YOUR ACCUSTOMED BI-WEEKLY SERVING OF MR. COPE’S OPINIONS, WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT OUR OFFICES ARE CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. THE STAFF AND MANAGEMENT OFFER APOLOGIES FOR THIS DISAPPOINTMENT, BUT SHORT OF COUNTERFEITING A POINT OF VIEW ON SOME MATTER AND PASSING IT OFF AS SOMETHING MR. COPE WROTE, WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FOREGO TODAY’S POSTING AND HOPE THAT THINGS WILL GET BACK TO NORMAL IN THE COMING DAYS. THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT THIS SITUATION OVER WHICH YOU NEED TO BE UNDULY ALARMED. IT IS JUST THAT MR. COPE HAS REFUSED TO PUT ANOTHER WORD IN THIS SPACE UNTIL HE IS SATISFIED HIS SENSE OF HUMOR HAS RETURNED. IN HIS OWN WORDS: “THIS AIN’T NO F***ING FUN IF I CAN’T FIND SOMETHING FUNNY IN ALL THIS HORSES***!”

THOSE OF US WHO ASSIST MR. COPE IN THE PRODUCTION OF MR. COPE’S CAVE CAN READILY UNDERSTAND ANY BEWILDERMENT FELT BY READERS WHO HAVE NEVER THOUGHT MR. COPE WAS FUNNY IN THE FIRST PLACE. YET, SURPRISING AS IT MAY BE, MR. COPE HAS BEEN CONVINCED FROM HIS EARLIEST DAYS WRITING COLUMNS FOR BOISE WEEKLY THAT HE IS A VERY, VERY FUNNY PERSON, AND THAT HIS WRITING IS HILARIOUS, BOTH IN STYLE AND SUBSTANCE. WE IN HIS EMPLOYMENT HAVE ‘HUMORED’ HIM (FORGIVE THE PUN) AND CATERED TO HIS NEED TO THINK OF HIMSELF AS A HUMORIST, NO MATTER HOW EXHAUSTING THAT EFFORT TO INDULGE HIM HAS BEEN. TO ILLUSTRATE: WHENEVER HE IS AT HIS DESK PRODUCING THE CONTENT FOR THIS BLOG, HARDLY AN HOUR GOES BY WHEN HE DOESN’T COME BURSTING FROM HIS OFFICE, LOOKING FOR APPROVAL FOR ANOTHER ONE OF HIS “JOKES.”

GENERALLY SPEAKING, WHENEVER THIS HAPPENS, WE ALL CHUCKLE POLITELY AND TELL HIM THINGS LIKE, “YEAH, DAWG. THAT’S A GOOD ‘UN,” OR “L-O-L, DUDE! KEEP THEM ZINGERS COMIN’!” IT’S NOT SO MUCH THAT WE FEAR MR. COPE MIGHT REPLACE US IF WE DO NOT LAUGH, AS EVERYONE INVOLVED KNOWS WELL THAT FEW PEOPLE WOULD WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS FOR THE PITIFUL COMPENSATION MR. COPE OFFERS. HOWEVER, WE ALL KNOW THAT IF WE DON’T LAUGH, WE WILL HAVE TO SIT THROUGH ANOTHER TEDIOUS SESSION OF HIM TRYING TO EXPLAIN HIS “JOKE” TO US, NO MATTER HOW THOROUGHLY WE ALREADY UNDERSTAND IT. AND IF WE STILL CAN’T SEE ANYTHING FUNNY IN IT, HE STOMPS BACK INTO HIS OFFICE, COMPLAINING THAT WE AREN’T HIGHLY EVOLVED ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND COMEDY AS SOPHISTICATED AS HIS.

“YOU LOW-BROW JERKS,” HE HAS BEEN HEARD TO COMPLAIN, “GO BACK TO YOUR BIG BANG THEORY AND YOUR HEE HAW!”

BUT THE DUBIOUSNESS OF MR. COPE’S COMEDIC SOPHISTICATION IS NOT AT ISSUE ON THIS DAY. RATHER, IT IS THE TOTAL DEARTH OF COMEDIC THOUGHTS—WHETHER THEY BE HILARIOUS OR AS UNFUNNY AS AN ENLARGED PROSTATE—THAT MR. COPE FEELS HAS AFFECTED HIS WRITING OF LATE. THERE IS NO MYSTERY AS TO WHEN AND WHY MR. COPE’S (ARGUABLE) FUNNY BONE WAS BROKEN. AS MR. COPE, HIMSELF, HAS LAMENTED, “MARK THE DAY, COMRADES! NOVEMBER 8, 2016 … THE DAY THE LAUGHTER DIED.”

WE ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE HIM THAT PERHAPS THERE IS A GREATER NEED FOR HUMOR NOW MORE THAN AT ANYTIME IN MEMORY. WE HAVE ALSO REMINDED HIM THAT THE UNFOLDING OF THIS TRAGEDY HAS NOT STOPPED SUCH WITS AS STEPHEN COLBERT, JIMMY KIMMEL OR SETH MEYERS FROM TURNING CURRENT EVENTS INTO COMEDIC FODDER. WE HAVE EVEN RESORTED TO STROKING HIS EGO BY ASSURING HIM THAT HE MAY WELL BE THE FUNNIEST WRITER ON THE INTERNET, AND THAT HE ALONE CAN COME UP WITH THAT ONE, KILLER WISECRACK THAT MIGHT TURN THIS COUNTRY AROUND AND PUT IT BACK ON A PATH TO SANITY.

AS OF POST-TIME, IT HASN’T WORKED. HE JUST ROLLED HIS EYES AND MOANED, “FOUR F***ING YEARS WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A SNICKER … LET ALONE A CACKLE OR A CHORTLE. THAT AIN’T FUNNY!”

DEVOTEES OF MR. COPE’S CAVE MAY REST ASSURED THAT WE WILL CONTINUE OUR EFFORTS TO GET MR. COPE BACK ONTO HIS MACINTOSH, AND WE ARE CONFIDENT IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE IS CHURNING OUT WORDAGE—WITH OR WITHOUT A HINT OF HUMOR. HE IS SIMPLY TOO FULL OF HIS OWN IMPORTANCE TO GIVE UP OPINIONIZING FOR GOOD. IN THE MEANTIME, WE OFFER ANOTHER MUSICAL INTERLUDE FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE—THE MANAGEMENT.

 

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One Comment Add yours

  1. David Clark says:

    I feel terrible! I have been reading Mr. Cope’s blog since it started and last week, for the first time, I sent in a comment to compliment his work. BINGO! I broke Mr. Cope. I feel very bad about what I did and will immediately revert back to a life of inaction like most Americans.

    I too am heartbroken with the election of our new President. I have disliked Presidents (George for one) before, but I never feared them. I tried to think that maybe all the campaign rhetoric might have just been him saying whatever he thought would get him in the door, but as I watched each of his cabinet and advisor picks, it was apparent things even worse than I thought. Every pick was the exact antithesis of what a normal person would select—each intentionally picked to blow up education, the environment, or the world.

    We need as many people as possible calling Mr. Trump out. And you Mr. Cope are one of the best at doing just that. For America’s sake, but mostly for my sake, hang in there—continue to blast that asshole and his trumped up ideas. Be my hero.

    Dave

    PS–Two other comments: Never ever write in all caps and I love the music.

    Like

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