CLOSED FOR RE-STOCKING

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MR. COPE’S CAVE WILL BE TEMPORARILY INOPERATIVE IN ORDER FOR MR. COPE TO REPLENISH HIS INVENTORY OF NOUNS, ADJECTIVES, ADVERBS, SIMILES AND METAPHORS NEEDED TO DELINEATE PRECISELY WHAT SORT OF HUMAN BEING DONALD TRUMP IS. AS YOU KNOW, MR. COPE IS HESITANT TO REPEAT THE SAME LANGUAGE OVER AND OVER, NO MATTER HOW ACCURATE AND APPROPOS SOME WORDS OR PHRASES MAY BE. HOWEVER, OVER THE PAST YEAR OF THIS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN, HE HAS USED UP HIS ENTIRE BACKLOG OF DISPARAGING VERBIAGE, BY FAR THE GREATEST SHARE OF IT ON TRUMP. THE POOL OF USUAL EPITHETS (“FOOL,” “DOUCHE,” “TOOL,” “JERK,” “JACKASS,” “CLOWN,” “WEENIE,” ETC.) AND UNFLATTERING ADJECTIVES (“LYING,” “HONOR-LESS,” “CORRUPT,” “FASCIST,” “INSANE,” “DISGUSTING,” ETC.) WAS DRAINED MONTHS AGO. BUT MR. COPE HAS BEEN RELENTLESS IN HIS EFFORTS TO DEFINE THE TRUE SCOPE OF DONALD TRUMP’S REPUGNANCE, SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE FOR WAYS TO CAPTURE THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE’S ESSENTIALLY DREADFUL NATURE. HE HAS WORN OUT THREE THESAURUSES IN HIS ATTEMPTS TO KEEP THE INSULTS FRESH, FROM “A” (ABYSMALLY ANTHROPOIDAL ASS-SCAB”) TO “Z” (ZERO-GRAVITAS ZOMBOIDAL ZYGOTE”). HE HAS DREDGED UP WORDS AND IMAGERY HE HADN’T THOUGHT OF IN YEARS: “IGNOBLE,” “SCURVY,” “BLACKGUARD,” “SHIT ON A STICK,” “SHABBY,” “CHEESE-DICK,” “SQUALID,” “MALEFACTOR,” “PUTRID,” “LOATHSOME,” “LOWER THAN A TICK ON A SNAKE’S SCROTUM,” “DEBAUCHED,” “NOISOME,” “REPROBATE,” “SKEEZICKS,” “MISCREANT,” “MAN-WHORE,” “PISS-ANT,” “DICK-WAD,” “PUTRID,” “UNHOLY SPAWN RESULTING FROM THE CONGRESS OF A SEA CUCUMBER AND A GENITAL WART”—AND IN DOING SO, MR. COPE HAS EXHAUSTED HIS ENTIRE STORE OF DIATRIBE-ABLE MATERIAL. HE HAS EVEN TRIED HIS HAND AT INVENTING NEW WORDS TO REPRESENT TRUMP: E.G., “ATROCISOCRAT,” “SUCKO-SAPIENS,” “TESTICLESIAST,” “BOWEL-MOUTHED,” “COCKADOPE,” “LOATHSCUM,” “REPELIOUS,” AND “CRUDZILLA.” MR. COPE IS CURRENTLY CONDUCTING AN EXHAUSTIVE MULTI-SOURCE SEARCH TO GATHER ANY SCOFFS, JEERS AND TAUNTS TO WHICH HE HAS HITHERTO BEEN UNEXPOSED. HE WOULD ASK OF HIS READERS THAT IF THEY CAN THINK OF ANY HE HAS OVERLOOKED, HE WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT IF THEY WOULD COMMUNICATE THEIR CONTRIBUTIONS TO HIS GMAIL ADDRESS, FOUND ELSEWHERE ON THIS BLOG SITE. UTTER CONTEMPTUOUSNESS FROM OTHER LANGUAGES IS WELCOME, PARTICULARY FROM SPANISH, RUSSIAN OR ARABIC SPEAKERS. OF COURSE, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE, AS THERE ARE ONLY 37 DAYS LEFT TO FILL WITH REASONS DONALD TRUMP SHOULD NEVER BE PRESIDENT, SO DO NOT DELAY. ANY INVECTIVE, RIDICULE, HUMILIATION AND DISDAIN THAT IS NOT USED BY NOVEMBER 8 WILL HAVE TO BE WAREHOUSED UNTIL ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY ARISES—VERY LIKELY TED CRUZ’S NEXT PRESIDENTIAL ATTEMPT IN 2020. THANK YOU FOR YOUR INDULGENCE—THE MANAGEMENT.

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